Writing this today makes me quite sad. It actually breaks my heart. It’s, unfortunately, nothing new hearing rape allegations and reports all over the news. Especially recently, people are coming forward with their stories more so than ever. I could state a million and five reasons why people are more open to speaking about rape now. And I can also talk to you about why some believe victims and why others condemn and discredit them.
Different groups of individuals, people of varying sects, ethnicities, religions, ideologies and opinions portray rape and explain it in a way that is incredibly different than the other. I don’t think I’m writing this to convince you to believe a victim or put the rapist in jail. I’m not trying to make you look at it a certain way or highlight a certain aspect of it. I don’t want to share my own view of this and force you to follow my beliefs. I don’t want to write something and have you analyze it as if it’s an SAT essay; measuring how convincing I was or that it is inconceivable for you to come up with a different opinion.
Our opinions might not always be the same, they might clash. And that’s okay or it’s not. However, in this open letter, I don’t want to discuss this social issue, a repulsive one may I say. In this open letter, I want to address our conservative society. Our guarded, conventionally illiberal community; one that causes others to suffer and endure unbearable pain because it chooses to stay ignorant and preach ignorance.
I’ve read stories, signed petitions for and against, followed victims, hated on governments; most of them about how women and children were raped - some about men, too - and the horrific consequences victims had to undergo because of a society blinded by infinite nescience.
A few months ago, I posted the story of Lauren Wasser - a model who had to amputate both legs because of TSS caused by tampons. I was slightly shocked that a significant number of people didn’t know what a tampon was while other still insisted that a tampon defiles you (which is false information, by the way).
I was irritated. You can think of a tampon however you want to, but you can not keep your daughters, even sons, in the shadow concerning the female anatomy and how to respond to and take care of it. That’s selfish and idiotic; signs of an underdeveloped society.
I was blessed enough to be raised by a mother who is so open, always keeping me in touch with reality, teaching me the simple and basic human biological functions, and never judging me once no matter the occurrence. I am very comfortable talking about anything and everything with my mum. I am also not oblivious to what happens to the world or to my body. That’s the perks of living in a developed, educated and open family. I thank God for that every day.
It baffles me that some parents won’t even discuss the simplest human functions or world issues with their kids because of “3eib” or “haram” or “unacceptable”. People would rather raise their children to be shallow dumbasses and uneducated instead of starting an enlightened conversation about sex, protection, consent, human anatomy, and such topics.
Ladies and gents, whether we like it or not, our kids and everyone else - especially this generation - are participating in sexual activities. I’m not asking you to encourage your sons and daughters to ride ass till dawn, however, it is your obligation to provide them with the knowledge and etiquettes to keep themselves and others safe.
Most men and boys can’t control themselves. Most women and girls can’t defend themselves. Most males and females have absolutely no fucking clue about how things works, why they work and how to deal with them.
I have some guy friends who come to me and ask me about how certain things function in regards to females and their bodies because they are unable to do so with their own parents or other girls. What’s wrong with knowledge and education? Why is it so absurd for humans to understand how things function and what they can or can not do to/with someone else?
Because we lack the general awareness surrounding sexual activity and consent our kids, males, and females, are being raped and forced into unwanted situations. Violently. Victims are afraid to speak up due to police discrediting them, society shaming them because they are terrified and are ashamed of what others will say or how they’ll be look at. Why? Because that is what we taught them.
We taught our kids to shut up, take the blame and feel ashamed instead of speaking up and defending themselves and others from harmful situations like this. We also taught them that it’s okay to take whatever you want from someone without any consent or consequence. We’d prefer our daughters and sons to grow up with mental issues because Tante Faride will gossip about you.
#WhyIDidntReport is an online campaign happening now, allowing the stories of thousands and millions to come forward and be the voice of those who are silenced. It is explicitly showing us the reports of women and men on their personal incidents and what stopped them from reporting.
I posted several of them on my Instagram stories and at the end, I posted the template ( an empty picture with the hashtag #WhyIDidntReport to all those who would like to post about their experiences). I didn’t think anyone on my account would use it due to previously states reasons. However, I received one today in my DMs. I could believe my eyes.
The woman who confided in me and trusted me enough with her story, the woman who was brave enough to open up to a stranger about it inspired me to write this. This post is to every victim, the ones I know and don’t know, who had to suffer such despicable behavior because of a violently and exceptionally potato society. You are heroes.
This post is also to every conservative, uneducated, blinded by “3eib”, “haram”, “shu badun yehko” parent, friend, relative, and society.
You guys are fucked up.
I hope you know that because of your obsessive, unhealthy and delusional conservatism people’s rights are being violated because of you. Your mental deficiencies are costing other people their lives.
Don’t be cruel or shallow.