He’s Just Not That Into You

What better way to remedy your homesickness than to blog about your last heartbreak before you got on that (damned) plane and left the fucking country? Yeehaw! Now I know what Taylor Swift using her ex’s for song inspo feels like! I’m coming for you Taytay 🐍

Sike, sike. No, but the really I’d like to shoutout He’s Just Not That Into You for lighting my spark and leading me here. I actually didn’t get past watching 20 minutes of the movie before I texted Aya and was like BITCH I GOT IT!

One thing I will never understand, but also guilty of doing, is people not being upfront and honest. Especially when it comes to relationships. Being a person who makes extra effort for people I like, I expect the most basic decency from the other person. Speak up, bitch. Is it a trend to like, ghost people? Or are y’all super desperate to impress Casper the Friendly Ghost and get a golden star?

Patti, my cutie-patootie counselor at NU-Q , helped me realise in our sessions once that sometimes I tend to push people’s limits. I NEED AN ANSWER. I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION. I WANT THE EFFORT. This scares people away, because they believe a lot is expected of them. When in fact, all I ever want is people to communicate with me. Simple.

The less a person communicates with me and openly expresses his/her feelings, the more I start making excuses for the them. I give y’all the benefit of the doubt at the expense of my own sanity. Why hasn’t he texted? Why did he suddenly disappear? Is he okay? Wait, what if something happened? Why am I being mean? Damn, he has a shit life, I can understand why he’d do this to me! And the list will drag on and on and on. It never stops.

People’s actions, or lack thereof, says a lot about how they feel about you. So at some point in this life, you HAVE to take the hint. He’s (or she’s) just not that into you.

It’s not just about ego, but it’s about your own health and sanity. People may have 12,056 excuses for not calling or not hanging out with you all summer or only texting you when it suits them. Though, one thing I learned is that when a person is really into you, even if the the Earth is on fire (which it actually is, cue GLOBAL WARMING), he/she would still make an effort to watch the blazing fires with you from a cute spot with a good playlist and some wine :)

So ladies and gents, it hurts; to reject someone or be rejected by someone. It is definitely easier to ghost whoever or keep your hopes up waiting for obsessing over that text. But it is also exhausting. Very much so.

So take 5 minutes of your time, talk to the poor human. Make them understand what’s up. And when you do get that explanation, accept it. Leave for your own sake. You do deserve better! Both of y’all deserve better than being heartbroken and breaking each other’s heart.

Take that from someone who moved countries and only received a half-assed 5 word sorry text but only hours after she landed in the middle of the fucking desert.

Love, Kimberly

Kim MakhloufComment