Men Have Feelings Too

Mac Miller’s death a few days ago was a blow to the ribs to all his fans and loved ones. I never actually knew who he was or listened to his music or followed his work. I guess I just recognized him as being Ariana Grande’s boyfriend.

Mac is unfortunately another victim of suicide. He was pronounced dead on Friday due to an apparent overdose. As always, people are jumping on social media, Nascar fast mind you, calling him all sorts of names because he was an addict.

I’m not going to sit here and defend him. When you know you are doing something wrong there is no reason for you to keep doing it. And I stand with that 100%. But on the other hand, I believe that some situations you cannot swim through alone, and addiction is one of them.

Mac’s heavy addiction came with his fame, as I’ve read. The more famous he got, the more shit got to him, the more he used. It’s a cycle, actually, not news, unfortunately. We’ve picked up on many celebrities abusing drugs or substances of any kind. However, what worries me is the most is when males are doing it.

Why? Simple: Men don’t express feelings.

They rarely ever talk about their emotions or genuinely open up and accept that it’s okay to do so. Society, man. That’s how we’ve brainwashed our boys to be. All men are expected to carry their issues on their backs and never falter or break down once. How can you ever assume that this won’t break a human soul.

If I don’t have an anxiety attack at least 2091873 times in 24 hours, my day just won’t go on. I’m not saying that being soft, a drama queen or extremely emotional in a dangerous manner is okay or healthy, but letting out your emotions is just part of who we are. Men are criticized for that.

You use hand cream? OH NO YOU SOFT ASS GAY PERSON. You get a manicure? OH NO GIRLY ASS GAY PERSON. You talk about your feelings or you just feel in general? OH NO SHIT WE’VE LOST HIM NO WHERE IS THE MASCULINITY OH NO WHERE ARE THE BALLS THE DICK WHERE IS THE MAN.

Will you shut the fuck up, please. Like? ?? ?

In many of his songs, Mac dropped hints that he wasn’t doing fine. Few of the people he had a close relationship with commented on his situation implying that maybe he needed the help but no one ever cared to listen.

J Cole even tweeted: “This is a message for anybody in this game that’s going through something. If you don’t feel right, if you feel you have a substance problem, if you need a ear to vent to. If you uncomfortable talking to people around you. Please reach out to me.”

Men, more so than women, are incapable of opening up, of reaching out. This is a major cause of suicide for males. We ask too much from them. We expect unrealistic standards and expectations while using ‘masculinity’ as a justification.

I never understood how descriptions and labels like this should stop us from being completely normal human beings and leading an incredibly normal life.

That’s very common: If you’re elderly, you‘re too old for that.

If you are an adolescent, you are forbidden from having an opinion because you are too young.

If you’re a female, you shouldn’t act like that because of that.

If you are a male you mustn’t do that because of that.

If you are a disabled person, if you are a person of color.

If if if if if if if!

If everyone would just look at the bigger picture in life and allow people to just live and exist however they need to.

Society’s brutal judgment and absurd expectations have lead humanity to an abysmal abyss. No matter what we do we cannot hide that. We’ve driven animals to extinction, we’ve created a hole in the ozone layer, we’ve sinned, murdered, stole, lied, hated, judged, ruined, violated and harassed every existent living or non-living creature and creation possible.

We’ve done that to humans too, since the beginning of this damned human creation. However, more so now than ever, we are suffering the consequences. Also, at the moment, we don’t shy away from the truth as much as we did hours, days, decades, centuries ago. We make sure our voices are loud and clear, that we are heard. And for the past couple of years, people are making sure that we acknowledge the existence of mental illness and Suicide.

So here we are, here I am, trying - with all the power I have - to urge and encourage people to monitor their attitudes and behaviors with others, with themselves. This intense hatred and violence is causing precious souls to lose their lives.

Be present, in the moment. Listen, see, understand, act. If you are suffering or you know someone else who is stop lying around blankly on your ass. Get up, do something.

We are all part of a certain society which means we are all capable of initiating change and causing a difference. Let people be who they really are, express themselves and live in whatever way they wish to. Let people speak out and be bold.

This closed-mindedness and ignorance of ours is literally driving people to their caskets. I’m sorry to be the one to burst your little ignorant, distant, cruel bubble but you’ve got to snap out of it; this blindness, and see what you and many people’s actions and mannerisms are contributing or not to this fucked up world.

Listen. Speak. Act. Love.

Don’t cast out men because they are.. well… Men.

Sending love, Kimberly