Kinda Annoying

I'd usually take the 'Communication' road and approach people when I feel like a certain or many things need to be hashed out. But sometimes, it's kinda annoying. I get these voices in my head telling me to stop being a crybaby and giving other people that kind of attention. Like now, for example.

So where do I let go of this unpleasant feeling? !

The thing is, loving people too much sometimes will backfire at you. And I'm sick of it. When I love, I love deeply. When I give, I'm generous. When I appreciate, it's spectacular. When I vibe with you, I vibe with you and that makes me want to give you the world. Love. Love. Love. I love people until it literally hurts me. I'll run that extra mile, go above and beyond, sacrifice my time and wellness so that I could be of help to the ones I love.

I'm sure many of you know what I'm talking about.

And I'm sure you probably know how this will continue... Ladies and Gents: *drumroll please* d i s a p p o i n t m e n t.

What y'all get out of emptying your love in this world? d i s a p p o i n t m e n t. Genuine, heartbreaking, saddening d i s a p p o i n t m e n t.

Look, my mum has said this to me for more than 17 years. Since I was in the womb maybe. Probably even before. Anyway… "Never expect shit from nobody. Give, love, put in the effort if you want to but never expect people to reciprocate. They won't. Don't get your hopes up."

That is the most truthful and realistic advice I've been given all my years of life. Never expect shit.

The thing that bothers the fuck out of me, is that I still do! I still expect people to do 0.0001% of the shit I pull of for their sake. Now, I never do things because I want something in return like I never give you a 100 bucks because I expect you to buy me a house if I do, and I don't love people wholeheartedly because I want them to give me the same attention. My emotions and actions pour straight from the heart. But if I put in the effort for you ass, I kinda would like to feel loved back and appreciated. Not taken advantage of.

That's one life issue a fucking lot of people suffer from: feeling and actually being underappreciated and taken for granted.

You could dry up the oceans, turn the yellowish sun green, make all the stars disappear, stretch lands, you could even rip your heart out for people and that still wouldn't be enough for them to reciprocate genuine affection.

Baby, if you cross the world for certain people and all they do is sweet-talk you and never act on it, make a run for it. Get away. You don't really need this negativity and malice in your life. I for one know how flipping hard that is. I could be hurt by you over and over but I'll suck it up if I truly love you. All of us are like that. Some people show it, some people are only affected by that one person, some people keep it a secret and suffer alone, to each his/her way. But at some point, we all offer and provide too much of others, we pour and pour and pour, until we are eventually empty. Human nature, is it?

You are too precious, full of fine love, to be stepped on and exploited that way. No matter how small the problem. At work, with your partner, your BFF, your father, yourself... never let anyone make you feel so little and not loved.

When people appreciate and love you, they'll move mountains to prove that to you. Always remember that.

Much love… and annoyance, Kimberly