Flowers Will Rot

“Growing up as a kid, I'd see birds bathing in sand often and I was very taken by that... That is called Dust Bathing. When the birds don't have any water, they make due with what they have in order to cleanse themselves. We must learn from the birds.”

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The first time I listened to Flowers Will Rot was on one of Loly's - my pole instructor - videos on Instagram. After that, I kinda became a little obsessed with the song. I snooped around and found out that Tamara was actually of Arab origins and you guys know how I feel about Arab excellence. It gave me butterflies!

After following Tamara on Instagram, I learned that she takes pole classes with Loly and I then I almost cried of happiness when Loly told she'd fix a meet-up and introduce me to Tammy Q. But that's not exactly how it happened.

I actually met Tamara by coincidence. I believe it was a Thursday morning, and we were just wrapping up a good morning pole class. I was on the floor still chatting to Laura after class and getting myself cleaned up when a beautiful, tall, and calm woman got in. “I love your body suit!” she said looking at me. I didn't realize who she was until our mini-convo was over. I looked over my shoulder again, and I went, “Wait, are you, Tamara?”

Tamara at Harper’s Bazaar Al Arabiya - Arab Woman Awards

Tamara at Harper’s Bazaar Al Arabiya - Arab Woman Awards

I don't think I've hugged anyone that hard before.

Flowers Will Rot is always my go-to song when I feel down, calm, or in need of some kind of purpose. Tamara's voice is pure and calming and this song hits home.

I always resonated with lyrics. I'd feel like Tamara is translating my own emotions into a mesmerizing melody, making it sound so personal.

So one night, I was googling the lyrics and felt the urge to ask Tammy exactly what lies beneath those words. It was never intended to be an interview. However, I was so taken by the way she explained herself, her vision, and inspiration, I felt compelled to share her thoughts with everyone.

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Night skies come undone here I call

Rain don’t come around no more at all

I’ve learned to find 1 | too| many homes

Pack your bag little girl its time to go

Flowers will rot as spring waves goodbye

Strange cloud rain down your dusty showers

Wash off your rust this sacred hour

I’ve learned to find 1 | too| many homes

Pack your bag little girl its time to go

Chewing out my brain

Chewing at my soil

Coming to an end

And were ready to recoil

Flowers will rot as spring waves goodbye

With the sweetest voice, Tamara went on describing her take on the song and the meaning behind the lyrics (shown above):

“I grew up in a desert where nothing truly grows, and for years I had this resentment towards this sleepy land [Kuwait].

A normal morning would be strolling through our garden, petting the rotting flowers and picking up the dead baby birds which had fallen off out pam trees due to the unbarring heat. That marked me.

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I had trouble defining my identity and it was a crisis for me. I was trying so hard to be open enough to receive that clarity, I felt famish. I was thirsting for something more. It was difficult looking ahead and not being able to travel by sight. Nature was everything to me and I couldn’t her in order to come home to myself. That being said, I was seeking that feeling of home through different people & places I’ve lived abroad. I never gave up on finding that with Kuwait. It was important for me, even if it took the rest of my life.

That innate nomadic urge, that push, was everything I had lived for. Looking ahead with no strings tied was very essential for my growth. That uncomfortable place is my comfort zone. And so I would leave and came back hoping my eyes would be peeled, coming “home” anew to 27 years later, my musical inspiration stemmed from the desert. And just like that, Kuwait gave back to me.

We are lucky to be the most adaptable creatures in the world, we just have to make do with what we have and our surroundings. That is the essential to my growth. That is Dust Bathing.”

From Tamara’s music video  ‘Ripe’

From Tamara’s music video ‘Ripe’

At a certain stage, I guess we all passed through a phase where we felt disconnected from our surroundings, our country, and the people around us. You'd start to feel comfortable somewhere or with someone, only to realize that this is temporary and now it's time to move on from that.

Change is not easy. Adapting to a different life or a new experience is also difficult and doesn't happen with the snap of your fingers.

We've all had to go through a phase of utter loss, confusion, and loneliness. I believe that's part of our growth. You're placed in these unwanted and uncomfortable situations so that you learn a thing or two about life and how to get your way around it.

Flowers Will Rot is the anthem, the lullaby that will encourage you, escort you, and keep you sane while going through all these mind-blowing changes. You'll need a friend to stick by you and understand your ever-changing life.

Now you'll have Tamara to thank for creating a song that'll hold you near and dear when you feel like the world is too little, too much for you.

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To follow up on all Tamara's news and find out more about her:

Instagram: @tamaraqaddoumi

Youtube: Tamara Qaddoumi

Website: www.tamaraqaddoumi.com